This has been a big one for me recently so I offer this reflection humbly and learning. How do we meet ourselves when we are unable to do what we would wish to do? How do we speak to ourselves here? Do we soften into meeting this or find ourselves silently berating ourselves? Do we shame our inability or open to its teaching? Do we resist and fight what is or surrender back to centre and from here arise?
This has been a very personal journey over that last three or four weeks. I have found myself with a extremely painful shoulder, arm, elbow and wrist, so much so that I couldn’t sleep on one side, couldn’t raise my arm above shoulder level without a ‘ Yelp’ and my practice on the mat was suddenly reduced to stillness. I was pretty fed up especially as I was just about to go to two yoga festivals and a gathering of the sacred feminine. I wanted to meet it wholly yet here I was having to slow it right down. Now stillness I love or at least I realised I do until it’s all I can do. Then something else emerged. What I found here was a frustration, a shame, an inadequacy, and embarrassment, a judgement, a hiding, and a lack of kindness. It wasn’t a pleasant discovery but with the support of one much wiser than I arrived to what it had to teach me.
It taught me to let go of the fight. It has taught me surrender. It has taught me acceptance. It has taught me softness. It has taught me creativity. It taught me gratitude. It taught me balance. It taught me to dance and laugh and sing with stillness. It bought me the greatest bliss.
Limitations show up in many ways for us all, they may be physical, mental, financial, societal…
I guess I sit here with you pondering her as Teacher. To look to what she brings us rather than getting lost to what is taken away..
She is a big Teacher. I came to this life as a voracious student. I want to drink her till I can drink no more..
Maybe that’s why she came.