Wanting to end, to finish off, to merge, to no longer, to vanish, to cease to exist, to bring to a stop, to alleviate, to annihalate.
That silent call to end it all.
I have come to recognise the prevalence of this unspoken reaction to life. I say unspoken here for even in word it carries its own secret. A secret hidden behind smiles we may all pass by in our day to day, and often do.
What is re-acting upon the mind in times as this as to come into such complete annihilation/ self abuse?
Is there a deeper meaning behind the urge... Is it entwined with the souls call to extinguish the languid ego, the attachments to that which cannot be held onto, the angst ridden desire for life to be other that what is, the frustrated expectations of wanting.... Is it this that's calling to die?
Does it drag us kicking and screaming from the comfort of discomfort at our unlived life? To shed the skins of our attachment and come to the bare bones of living.
Is what we are experiencing the tipping point, a radical shift in consciousness where possibility is birthed to move us from the sense of ceasing to exist into " I am existence".
I am this.
In this is all that and in that is all this, and in this is all possibility. This that I experience right now is just one possibility,
In all possibility what is this unbearable calling to be bared?
Can I allow the unbearable to be bared, to be seen and therefore transformed?
Can I let the agony rip the scales from my eyes, wrenching unconsciousness into consciousness?
On the edge can I not be found dancing with all.
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